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  • Semesta Cruinne

Orange Tree - Billie Marten

I am so never good enough for me, so I am just going to post whatever I got, I have been wanting to for so long.

This is not my best recording - my throat is khach khach, I wasn't feeling particularly energetic, I've used false voice where I generally don't. So if I can post this I can post other videos! This should help me with my self esteem.

I hope you don't hate it.

Orange tree by Billie Marten

Should I post more singing videos, what do you suggest? Yes, no, would like to see as I progress, want me to shut the fuck up?

My heartbeat is fast as I upload this, so nervous. Its not like I even have that large an audience to worry about but everytime I share something, it is like some part of my room is now a part of the balcony and is so visible and that scares me.

None of my videos are ever proper by the way, because I am like in my own head with the songs and when I am enjoying them I dont sing 'for the recording', I just enjoy them. But then I want to document also, so I switch on the recording but don't 'perform' - it feels so unnecessary and tiring, there is so much dilemma. Music is beautiful. Many thoughts running in my head. Okay bye, thank you!

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