Swimming a little

November 4/2020

Today this moment is one of the times I feel it.

I just parked the car, got home, and will sit and work. Its cold outside. I had a good cup of coffee. I was wearing boots I like and bought. I was wearing hoodie I liked and bought and it doesn't fit me well and I don't look good in it but it's comfortable and my choice. And now that I am home I will wash up and get into the blanket and continue working.

I listened to songs on my way and will listen to some now, attach phone to speaker.

And it all feels. So chosen. And so pleasant. And good.

Its like I am at a place in life I never thought I'd be. I have a laptop and work to look forward to. I am studying in an art college and interning to write. And there are lights in my room I like to light on.

There aren't many people. I am not living in my own house. Plans aren't over. Goals aren't complete. Lists keep increasing, books keep attracting. And. Its just. Such a good place to be.

There are friends. And there are acquaintances and there are masks and there is baggage and pain, some things are in place, most are not. Its imperfect. Its like a marker in the video I am editing. A moment in the movie.

I dont regret so much. And I have things to look forward to. I am lucky and blessed and have amazing family and 2 cutest pets. And. Its just such a good moment to be alive in. To witness. To experience. To know. That this happened, this is happening.

I feel free and independent and work in progress.

Its a good feeling.

I think it feels good also because moments dont feel meaningless. Conversations, any interaction, thoughts, actions. I dont feel like a person flapping in water preventing from drowning.

I feel like I am floating. And slowly swimming. And that. I like where I am, even if I can't see the island. Or the beach.