Self Portrait - October 2022
Updated: Sep 1
Title: "It's not a race to the end"
(A line from the song itself)
Medium: Video (9.2 seconds)
Description(?): Well, it's been a confusing time. I have been lost about what I wanted and what societal wants I am falling for.
An insecure time.
Been jealous - never felt this emotion so strongly and so vulnerably. It is extremely tiring, I'd say. It is also very heartbreaking because you realise the lack of love and confidence you're feeling toward yourself.
Been angry. At myself. Very angry.
Been in pain. A lot of that. Mentally, emotionally, soul-ly and physically.
It was a very violent time. It felt like there exists my skin and I am scratching the walls in anger and pain from the inside. And from the outside, circumstances, people, and generally life are hitting, like blowing punches, huge punches, punching fists bigger than me. Like really getting blown away and getting really hurt. We cried.
I've been tired.
I've been lost and confused.
I'm repeating but.
This time is such a time.
I think I'll remember this time.
Stopped and blank time.
Containing pain time.
Who am I? time.
Wow. I didn't mean to write; I spoke and have so much to say and so many tears held.
Hmm... This was a challenging time.
I'm being kind to myself the last few days to change my time.
I'm being here for myself. Yes. :)
And we (Me and I) say, "Remember me?",
"It's like you told me, go forward slowly..."